After five years at HPB (she just got her anniversary pin!), Leah is leaving us for a library directorship in Montana. I am happy for her, as she has wanted a job which better uses her degree for ages, and also to move back home, to the nine month long winters with neighbors five miles down the road. It's not my dream, but it's hers, so I commend her for achieving it. BUT, before she goes, we have to do one thing together, something we've talked about doing for years and I've always chickened out. We are going to sing. At a karaoke bar. Leah can sing and does it well. I can't.
But, I don't want this idea of us singing together, or better yet, of Leah singing with me playing air guitar in background (t'would be much funnier), to simply never happen. For everything I accomplish, I have more things I want to, and don't. I wanted to join roller derby, but really can't skate anymore worth a darn. I wanted to go to Germany, but that partly depends on the largesse of my oldest brother, who is preoccupied lately with going to Aruba, or perhaps Juarez (see previous blog). I did see the Pacific last summer with Christine and Darren, and plan on going to California for the first time with Beck this summer. I have written a book and now have plans on how to publish it.
So, I'm going to sing karaoke, after drinking enough to fortify myself, and check that off my list. I am also going to be a bridesmaid next spring, and am already writing out toasts for the bride and groom. Some are unusable, like my story about how the happy couple met on eharmony, and are so lucky. I was less lucky, met a guy on eharmony with a soundproof room in his basement, manacles on the wall, and a gimp suit which didn't look exactly empty. Just kidding, actually the soundproof room was for sound editing and the man was very nice. But, my version sounds better, doesn't it? Just perhaps not good for a mixed crowd at the reception. So, my gift to Abbi and John will be a book of unusable wedding toasts and I have a year to come up with this (about the length of a Montana winter. Hmmm). I will not leave this undone.
I guess that my dreams and list of things to do keeps changing is not a bad sign, just that life itself changes, sometimes the people in our lives change as they move on, or we do. Celebrating the moment is the thing, whether with a beer in my hand at a karaoke bar, or a glass of champagne at a wedding reception. I can't wait.
It's so important to follow your dreams. It also helps to figure out which of your dreams are most important to you and to be sure to do those. When I was in my twenties, I thought I could learn every language I wanted to learn and travel to every country on my wish list. I even thought I could do what a woman I met did--put baby Nick on my backpack and hike through Guatemala. It didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteWatching our father's decline and our mother's battle with cancer helped me come to the realization that life really is very short and that it's important to use what time we have as well as we can. That doesn't mean you shouldn't kick back and sing karoke. In fact, it DOES mean you should kick back and do something silly from time to time. Worrying about what other people think has held me back too long. It's made me the world's stiffest dancer ever.
You wrote your book, which was your dream and is something so many people dream about doing and never do. I'm relieved that you have concrete plans to publish it. The publishing world is so difficult to break into. Good for you for taking the bull by the horns.
Peter and Kasey remind me how cliquish high school can be. Life does get better. I was never so lonely as when I was in high school.
I hope you can figure out a way to get to Germany. I'm so happy that you'll go to California this summer. And as for Leah in Montana, that's what makes life so rich and varied. We all have different dreams! Viva la difference! :-)
Wonderful blog, sister!